Love? Or leave?
I don't know if it's because of Valentines day or just all the sad things going on lately, but I've been thinking a lot about my relationships with people. Not just my boyfriend, but also my family and friends. I've been thinking about how I've hurt those that I love and who love me. How I've been neglected, and how I've neglected them.The times I've thought to call, and haven't. The times I've wanted to get together, and then get sidetracked. The times I've had a dream involving that person, or recalled a special memory, and wanted to share, but kept it inside.
Those who know me well know that once a thought gets inside my head I obsess over it until I feel it has been resolved. So, this latest thought of mine is what exactly is love? What is it about a certain person that draws us to them? Or, pushes us away? What do we need to do maintain that love? When are we expected to go above and beyond to make it "work", and when is time to just let go.
For instance, is it my responsibility to continually call friends from high school to maintain the friendship, if they won't call also. Not that I am being avoided, there is a good conversation, lots of laughes, then hollow plans to one day meet up again. But then nothing. No return of the outstretched hand. How long should I continue to be the one calling? Or, should I just let the past be in the past, move on, and make new friends.
As far as relationships with significant others go, I know you're supposed to "pick your battles", "meet in the middle", and all that stuff. But then again, how far are you supposed to take this? How many sacrifices is one person supposed to make to ensure success of the relationship? When is it time to say when? And then, there are all the "what if's". You know, the 'what if I would of given it one more chance, one more try". "What if I would of not gone out with friends that time and stayed home with the honey instead". "What if I would of not started the silly argument about what to have for dinner or to watch on tv".
Then, there's family. We don't get to pick who our family members are, they just are who they are. Families fight and argue, then generally make up soon after. That's what families do. There's that bond that can never be broken. But, at the same time, how much should someone take before you just decide you're better off without that person, even if it's your own mother? How many times should you try to reconcile before you just give up?
Well, this one has drug on a whole lot longer than I thought it might. Amazing how the words just continue to come out. Anyhow, I'll continue to think on these things. That's it for today folks.
posted by ~ Amanda X&O @ 4:45 PM
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